Say No To The Dress: 40 Times People Slapped Fabric Together And Called It A DressBy Abigail T
Clothes are meant to make a person feel good about themselves. Fashion allows a person to make a personal and individual statement. “This is me. This is what I like and what I feel good in.” And that’s completely valid, even if sometimes other people don’t quite understand it. What’s important is how the wearer feels in their clothes. But sometimes, they just take it a step too far. So far, even the fashion police can’t wrap their heads around it. There is a dedicated Facebook group for sharing photos of these atrocious dresses, aptly named, “You can’t just slap some fabric together and call it a dress.” Together, members of this group entertain each other with ridiculous dresses that leave the Internet baffled. Take a look at some of these fashion no-nos yourself.
An eclectic blend
Celebrities aren’t exempt from fashion mishaps on the red carpet. They’re heavily scrutinized, with the media noting down every detail of their outfits. On the 46th annual Grammy Awards, Alicia Keys showed up in this ensemble.
It looks like her stylists cut out the front part of a lovely dress and put her in jeans. What a waste of a perfectly good dress! But while some ridicule this fit, we’d like to call it “an eclectic blend” of high society and the working man.
The zoo came out to party
What do you get when you cross a zebra with a cheetah and then take them out for a night out on the town? This dress. You get this dress. We can’t see anyone wearing this dress unironically. Can you?
Everything, from the clashing patterns to the sequins all over the dress, is making our eyes hurt. True to the name of the group in which someone posted this photo, you can’t just slap some fabric together and call it a dress!
An unhealthy obsession
Merch exists for a reason. It lets the fans feel like they own the fandom and are part of a bigger community. That’s why we see so many posters and t-shirts of movies, artists, bands everywhere. But, we’ve never seen anything quite like this.
We’re not even sure what the fandom is. Obviously, this person is a Twihard and part of Team Edward at that. But the blue half of the dress reminds us a little bit of Elsa from Frozen. And the pink side reminds us of Aurora’s dress in Sleeping Beauty.
You know a dress is terrible when the model in the photo does not seem to be impressed by it. Take a look at this sheer black gown with what appears to be circular satin fabric loosely attached all over it.
We can’t see the upper half of the model’s face, but the slight curve of her lips downwards tells us everything we need to know. Even the way she’s holding the dress doesn’t look convincing. She’s like, “Here’s a nice-ish dress, I guess.”
We all know Adidas as an athletics brand. We think of them when we need sports shoes, new running shorts, or maybe a yoga mat. They wouldn’t be our first point of reference when we need a dress, and for a good reason too.
Here is a photo of a dress available from Adidas. Except, is it really a dress? There’s just extra tracksuit material attached to the bottom of the dress, which doesn’t really flatter anyone wearing it. It would have been a solid dress if that extra fabric wasn’t there.
Dippin’ Dots ad?
Do you guys remember Dippin’ Dots? It’s ice cream that comes in tiny individual dots of different colors. That’s exactly what these outfits remind us of. It’s made of different-sized balls of fur, and it is ridiculous, to say the least.
These two look like they’ve been dipped in a crate of bubblegum flavor Dippin’ Dots. We’d like to know what the occasion was because the only appropriate time to wear this out and about is if they were dressed as Dippin’ Dots for Halloween.
Ordinary people like us are just going to have to accept the fact that they’re never going to understand high fashion. Whatever is on the runway and on magazine covers might have zero aesthetic value to us and yet be held in high regard in the fashion world.
This dress is certainly an example of that. It kind of reminds us of a cartoon block of cheese. You know, the kind in Tom and Jerry? The bodice of the dress on its own is actually gorgeous, but unfortunately, that’s about where it stops.
Now, this is a Halloween costume we can get behind! It’s like the lovechild of a cheetah and a giant moth. That’s what you should tell people when they ask you what you’re supposed to be.
You can wear DIY moth antennae instead of cheetah ears to hone in the outfit’s moth aspect. We’re actually a fan of this and may very well go out to find this costume for ourselves for next Halloween.
Who else thinks this is a really cute dress? It’s a lovely nude color, and the cut is adorable. We don’t even mind the green straps. The thing that ruins it is what’s printed down the front of the dress.
Nobody needs confirmation that this is a dress. It is most definitely a dress. And it is for sure not a “dress.” Why the air quotes are there, we have no idea. If they didn’t include that text, we’re sure the dress wouldn’t have cost $108!
This dress gives us the heebie-jeebies. It’s actually a really nice white dress, possibly even a wedding dress? But the details down the front make it look like there’s some sort of animal hive growing from the inside out!
Why must they ruin a perfectly nice dress? We can forgive the details on the shoulders. But the bit over the stomach is particularly concerning. It makes it look like creatures or little insects are bursting out of the dress.
Many brides find a way to incorporate the things they love into their wedding. They might wear their mother’s wedding veil or have an inside joke etched inside the wedding bands. But, what if what they love is pizza?
You would think that they would just serve pizza at the dinner or reception. But this bride needed to make a statement. “I love pizza just as much as I love my new husband.” Would you get married in this dress?
We think we’ve pinpointed the problem here. The actual dress is a good dress and silhouette, to begin with, but people add extra elements to it and don’t know when to stop. That’s the number one way for how to ruin a dress.
Take this dress, for example. Imagine just the dress—a fine article of clothing. Then someone decided to add the large bow, which kind of ruins it a little, but it’s still okay. Then another person added the dolls down the bottom half of the dress, and that’s when things went awry.
Cottagecore is its own market of aesthetics. It’s actually really cute if you’re doing it right. Imagine looking like the ladies in the film Midsommar. Yes, we know that film is unnerving, but the wardrobe is incredible. But this…
There’s something about the plaid layers that end up making these dresses unflattering. But still, we can understand if someone would make this purchase! The fact that this was a sponsored ad on somebody’s Instagram feed probably means they dress in similar items.
Just like mash-ups and medley songs exist, there are also mash-up clothes. No, that’s not an actual fashion term. That’s just something we made up to describe articles of clothing that look like this next article of clothing we have here.
So, this is a cross between a denim jacket, kimono, and long-sleeved shirt. It’s all of these things mashed up together, and honestly, we don’t hate it. It’s a little overwhelming to take in at first, but it’s definitely a look.
You know how there are gorgeous patchwork quilt blankets and such that sell for quite a lot of money? Maybe this dress is trying to do the same. The difference is, we probably wouldn’t pay the price on the tag. Or anything for that matter.
This dress is patched together with different pieces of various shades of denim: black denim, blue denim, and light wash. But somehow, it still looks cheap. Maybe it’s the corset-style fastening down the front or the sloppy bow tie at the top.
This dress is on sale online for 17% off. But we have a feeling that’s not 17% off the selling price. It’s most probably 17% off the material used to make the dress. We understand that sheer is in, but that’s not what we’re concerned about.
The dress’s shape is actually quite nice. It’s the lower part that makes us wonder where the appeal is. Does it not look like someone just tied multiple stockings around the waist and let them hang down? And, how is this supposed to cover you know what?
Trash bag but make it fashion
Some people come to Halloween parties wearing only bedsheets, trash bags, rice sacks, etc. But nobody did it quite as well as Kristen Stewart in this Twilight photoshoot. She managed to make a trash bag look rather chic. But could she have chosen something a little better?
To give the designer credit, it’s a nice design for a dress that looks like they made it from trash. It definitely would have looked better on her if it were made of actual fabric. But it’s constructed in such a way that it’s sheer in all the right places, and that’s impressive!
The star-spangled sack dress
We love a bit of a pattern moment. But when said patterns are cut-outs, we’re not so sure. Take a look at this dress with a splatter of see-through stars all over it. This looks like a wardrobe malfunction waiting to happen.
You can even catch glimpses of her underwear through the cut-out stars. It would have been a fabulous dress without the cut-outs. Maybe make the larger stars a different color than the smaller ones, and you’re good to go.
Here’s a dress that comes with a literal choker. No, we’re not talking about the thin accessory that wraps tightly around your neck. We’re talking about a hand-shaped extension of the dress that appears to choke your neck literally.
This actually looks like it’s a visual effect straight out of a horror movie. The hand doesn’t even look like a hand at first; it seems more like a webbed foot, probably because of the dress’s material. How terrifying.
Here’s an interesting choice for a wedding dress. By the looks of it, this woman must be wearing one of those large cages from the olden times that allows dresses to look like they’re puffed where the skirt portion begins.
It’s the pattern of the skirt that makes this dress… intriguing, to say the least. It looks like they’ve layered a bunch of giant clams together, like one of those clams in The Little Mermaid that would open up and reveal a different mermaid underneath.
Under the sea
Sticking to the “under the sea” theme, this next dress reminds us of the villain in The Little Mermaid, Ursula. Maybe it’s the mermaid cut of the dress, or maybe it’s the spikes sticking out of the shoulders, but something about this dress screams “villain!”
Upon further inspection, we’ve noticed that the part with the spikes is actually a cropped jacket of sorts, meaning if they were to take off the jacket, the dress would probably be less of a safety hazard for everyone around it.
It’s a massacre
The only conclusion we can come to when we see this dress is that it was inspired by the movie Carrie. Why else would there be flecks of red feathers on the dress otherwise? Maybe this was a Halloween costume.
Unfortunately, by the cut of it, it looks more like a wedding dress instead of a prom dress. We just hope this woman didn’t actually wear this to her wedding because yikes! That would scare some children and guests.
Remember the pizza wedding dress? Say hello to its counterpart, the burger mini dress. While it’s a little less on-the-nose than the pizza dress, you can still definitely tell what it’s trying to be. Just look at all the details.
You’ve got the burger buns, which even have sesame seeds on the top! You have the onions, tomatoes, and lettuce in the middle on top of the beef patty. And, of course, you can’t leave out the slice of cheese!
Animal prints are no stranger to the fashion world. From leopard, cheetah, snakeskin to zebra, we’ve seen it all. But nothing quite like the cheetah print we see on this dress. Not only is it covered with cheetah print, but it also has an actual cheetah on it.
We can understand the print, but what’s with that extension? It creates a hole in your figure, but only if you extend your arm. We wonder what the cheetah’s face will look like if the arm isn’t outstretched. We’ll be okay if we don’t find out.
Maybe this is what Harry Styles meant when he wrote the lyrics, “You’re so golden.” Maybe she’s just a little bit too golden. As in, so golden she should probably not be in the light because she’d be reflecting it everywhere she goes.
We can only assume this girl has won prom queen or homecoming queen. But we almost can’t even see her because of how overwhelming her dress is. The skirt part of it looks like five people got together and glued a bunch of gold sheets of paper together.
Okay, we already know the amount of hate we’re going to get for criticizing the outfit worn by none other than Queen B herself. But we just have to say it. This yellow jumpsuit reminds everyone on the Internet of Big Bird from Sesame Street.
Despite the uncanny comparison, we can’t deny that she still looks fire in the fit. There’s nothing Beyoncé can’t pull off, that’s for sure. How does she manage to look good in just about anything? This could be a whole other article.
Beyond the fabric used for the dress, the cut of it is what determines whether the dress is flattering or not. We’ll leave it to you readers to decide whether this next cut does the wearer justice or not.
The polka dot pattern is actually okay, and that fabric seems quite nice. But the turtleneck and sleeves that go way past the hands make for a less than suitable silhouette for the wearer. It kind of looks like Slenderman!
Scuba suit and bedsheet
This will forever be one of those high fashion things that we will never understand. The fact that this next dress has an original selling price of $22,944 has our jaw on the floor. That’s the same price as university tuition.
This dress is made of a scuba suit and multiple bedsheets. You can see that the sleeves are cut out from Spiderman bedsheets. The skirt also features different bedsheet patterns layered over each other. If you could afford this dress, would you purchase it? And more importantly, would you wear it?
We can only assume that these two outfits are for an editorial spread or a university project. There seems to be a clear-cut concept of mushrooms in the wild here. Honestly, it’s kind of iconic, and they did an amazing job.
The dresses aren’t even that atrocious! We’ve seen several questionable ones so far. If anything, these two dresses are pretty tame compared to the ones we’ve seen so far. We have nothing bad to say about this, other than the mushroom caps gotta go if you were to wear this in public.
Summer street style
The person who posted this to the Facebook group, “You can’t just slap some fabric together and call it a dress,” wrote: “Looking for summer street style for a client I’m photographing, and I find this monstrosity.” She makes a point, you know.
To be fair, it does look like this photo was taken in the summer, and it definitely was taken on a street somewhere. So technically, this is a summer street style. If we were given the option, we’d ditch the t-shirt because the dress is actually pretty cute!
Lady Gaga has always been known for her eccentric, eclectic, unique, and often wild fashion choices. Looking at this photo, we can’t help but think that this is one of the tamer outfits we’ve seen her in. What do you think?
Let’s not forget that she wore a dress made of literal meat to an award show back in the 2010s. If anything, she looks pretty “normal” here. And sure, maybe the ballooning of the dress isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, but Gaga looks great.
Skirts or dresses with cut-outs or slits aren’t all that uncommon. But we’ve never seen one quite like this. It almost seems like a waste of material when you think about it. They could have just made this a mini denim skirt.
If the skirt wasn’t made of denim, maybe this would have been just a little more flattering. Denim is such a structural material. If they had used a softer fabric, there would have been a bit more movement in the skirt, and maybe that could have made it better.
You could let this person lie over the scanner at the grocery store wearing this dress, and the till would register her as an item. Get it? Because the dress looks like a barcode. It looks like you could at least register it as two different items.
Somehow this model managed to make this dress look good despite it objectively being kind of an odd piece. Guess that’s the job of a model, and there are probably not that many that can pull this particular piece off.
Dress or trousers?
Okay, hear us out for a second. The upper half of this outfit is actually pretty cute. It’s a very nice dress. Maybe it needs just a little bit more length, but it’s quite an elegant piece, perfect for dinners and other upscale events.
What we don’t understand is why they needed to throw on a pair of unflattering trousers underneath. They’re straight cut and are clearly too long for the model. Plus, those chunky shoes don’t do the white dress any favors!
Biker gang wedding
Here’s another wedding dress that is a perfect representation of the bride. Our guess is this is a biker gang wedding. Either that, or she’s just a big fan of Harley Davidson. So much so that she’s got the logo printed on her train.
Whatever makes the bride happy! It’s her wedding day, and she’s allowed to do whatever she wants. We especially appreciate the flame details along the hem of the dress. It gives it more definition. However, would we choose this item? Never.
This dress was put on sale for $15, but we wouldn’t pay that much for it even if we did want it! This is truly the definition of slapping a bunch of fabric together and calling it a dress. It’s super unflattering, even on its owner.
Pink, leopard print, and black are three things that can go well together if done tastefully and artistically. But when you just place blocks of it on top of each other, it is not a great look and definitely not a flattering dress.
Wait, can you guys see anything in this photo? We only see jean shorts, sandals, scraps of a white dress, and brown boots! Everything else is literally invisible, blending into its surroundings. Our guess is maybe somebody has camouflage on!
Just kidding. But for real, we’re not sure what the situation is here. The woman has a veil on, so maybe this is a wedding? In which case, whatever makes the bride happy! Like we said before, it’s her special day.
The trend cycle
Everyone knows that fashion trends come back around every few decades. It’s 2021, and we’re seeing the return of ‘90s fashion over two decades later. So, it’s not a surprise that we see these ruched-up dresses back in clothing stores.
This reminds us so much of 2008 that it’s insane. This was what every girl would wear to a sweet 16 birthday party. They were always paired with heels and overly styled hair. It’s cool seeing this dress make a comeback, though.
For some reason, this dress reminds us of those popsicles that are a blend of multiple flavors. This could be lemon, orange, grape, strawberry, and vanilla, all fused together. Again, they really did just slap different fabrics together and called it a dress.
The lace-up part is also a little risqué. It veers off to one side, probably one inch short of a wardrobe malfunction. It might be safer if the lacing went down the middle of the dress. But even then, we’re not sure who would want to wear it!
Swiffer Wedding Dress
Like we have said many times before, a bride should feel special and beautiful on her wedding day, whatever that takes. And if the bride wants to wear a dress that looks like a lawnmower ran over it, then she has every right to do so.
The top half of the dress is perfectly fine, but a lot could be said about the lower half. It kind of reminds us of a Swiffer duster. Or maybe she wanted to match her three-tiered wedding cake. As long as she is happy, what can we say about it?