30+ High-End Items Found Online That, Trust Us, No One NeedsBy Liezel L
Online shopping is like playing the wheel of fortune. A lot of the time, it is filled with regret. After many tries, though, you might hit the jackpot. Other times, you might get something that you won’t know what to do with. That latter one is especially true when it comes to high-end shopping. We’re not sure if people have just really run out of good ideas of products to sell or if they’re trying to go for something more unconventional and artsy. Lexi Brown from Minnesota tweeted, “A hobby of mine is finding ridiculous items for sale at Nordstrom’s.” With that, she attached a picture of her find, a Pave Chair Bag. From there, the tweet immediately blew up and inspired other people to share their ridiculous high-end finds. And we must say, it’s proof that you really can’t buy logic. Check them out and see for yourself if you’d buy any of these things.
This Chair Bag
First up, we have the bag that started it all: the Pave Chair Bag. We don’t even know where to start with this bag, if you can even call it that. Clearly, you can’t use it to store anything, so how is it used?
As it seems, the sellers were clueless as well. “Always have a front-row seat thanks to this sparkly pavé folding chair made in collaboration with lifestyle brand Myreality,” their product description says. “Shown on the runway at New York Fashion Week, this bedazzled object d’art doesn’t actually carry anything, except for a conversation.” Apparently, people loved it.
Shiny But What Exactly Are They For?
You know, for some reason, we thought Tiffany’s would be a little bit better about selling practical products. They’ve hopped onto the bandwagon of making completely ordinary things from silver and gold and calling it the next must-have hot item.
So we can still get behind the paperclip. After all, it is a novelty item for writers, bookworms, or people who love collecting unique office supplies. The tin can, though, we can’t place. Taste aside, this is one niche item.
This Is For People Who Want To Start Creating Their Very Own Annabelle Doll
Urns in general or having your loved one’s ashes in the house isn’t creepy. It shouldn’t be. In fact, it should make you feel that your loved one is still close in a not horror kind of way. This 3D-printed head thingy, though, is giving us goosebumps.
Having a replica of your loved one might be sweet for whoever thought this was a good idea. As for us, we’ve seen too many horror movies, and we feel that eyes on this thing would be following our every move in the middle of the night.
At Least There Are Pockets
It’s hard enough to find great pants that look stylish, are comfortable to wear for hours, and that hug our curves just the right way. Then we see things like this when scrolling. Does the world need these jeans? They’re like chaps.
It does have the one thing every girl wants: actual pockets. We’re not really sure how deep those go, and we might just be getting fooled (as always), but that’s the only silver lining we see with these… interesting pants.
The Supreme Brick Of All Bricks
Bricks are great for building houses, fences, and all that. For $300 though, we don’t know what in the world the sellers of this brick expect us to do with it. It’s not a unique brick. Does it look exceptional to you?
If you want something fancy to throw at your nemesis’ window, this is something you can buy. At least then you can say that you threw a $300 brick at their property. We’re not sure how much power that gives you but well, at least then your money doesn’t completely go to waste. Just make sure your aim is right, though.
We See Your Camel Toe
We’ve seen all kinds of wacky shoes in our time scouring the wide world of the internet but this is probably one of the oddest ones we’ve seen. Camel hooves? All we can think of is how our toes would feel.
We can’t even think of any outfit to go with this unless you’re planning on wearing a full-on camel suit. Were the ten people who reviewed these all sexy camels for Halloween? Maybe if we saw them on a model, we’d get a better idea as to why they sell.
When You Need That Extra Bra For Any Emergency
Bras are great for extra storage, especially since the deep pockets we all want are still kind of scarce for women right now. We’re not fond of exposing this handy little tip to the world though, especially with a bra-shaped bag.
We’re not saying that bras should be something to be embarrassed about or something that should be hidden, but we’re not sure making a bag out of one makes for a classy item. We admit this is pretty fun, though.
This Adds A Whole New Dimension To Your Knitting Projects
If you want every item in your house to be made of silver, go on over to Tiffany’s. It seems that their sales department thinks that turning everything into silver or bronze would sell more for them. Just take a look at this ball of yarn.
This is for the classiest cat in the land. Although, we doubt it’s as fun to play with. It’s nice to look at, though, and maybe that’s their point. We all have a weird knickknack or two that take up space. But how many of them had that price tag?
Is This The Fancy Version Of A Farmer’s Uniform?
We love the glamour of gloves. They remind us of balls and fancy parties where one can feel like a princess wearing delicate gloves of silk. But these red gloves, well, they remind us of what farmers wear when they birth calves.
We guess that people want a nice outfit to wear when performing mundane duties. The dress is pretty okay, and we want to ask if the gloves are detachable. Also, does anyone else get Dexter vibes? Maybe we are the only ones.
Just To Make Sure You Never Forget Your Bike Lock Ever Again
We love it when brands think of ways to combine practicality and fashion. We need more of that in this world. Unfortunately, not all collaborations between those two things are particularly successful, as we have seen time and again surfing the shops.
Listen, we love some cute earrings in the shape of spoons and cups or whatever. So we definitely can’t judge this from a style perspective. From a cost perspective, though? We’d rather buy the actual bike than this fake lock.
$96 For Poking An Eye Out
The beauty world is evolving every day. There’s always new makeup to try, and there are new tools to make putting on flawless, beautiful makeup a lot more beginner-friendly. Some items look more dangerous than helpful, and we’re happy to keep our lashes as they are.
This lash instrument, for instance, looks a lot more like a little spear that would poke your eye out rather than elongate and enhance your lashes’ beauty. It also looks like something you’d find in a toolbox rather than a makeup kit.
When You’re Just So Obsessed With Shrimp Cocktails
We don’t know who started it all but turning your favorite foods into cute accessories is actually adorable. There has to be a limit though, right? Not all foods can look preppy, fun, or cute. We think shrimp cocktails fit in that category.
Shrimp cocktails may look nice and classy in nice, shiny cocktail glasses. They were onto something – we’ve all seen cute chibi sushi art with smiley faces. Slap some of those on a bag, and we’ll throw a solid $20 at you.
We’re Not Sure If It’s The Plastic Or The Eyes But Nope
We think we all know that the fashion world can get so crazy a lot of the time. From outfits made out of mattresses on the runway to shoes that are deliberately made to face backward, the industry never runs out of ideas. This dress, though, seems to have been made while the manager stepped out.
We’re not sure if it’s the color, the weird eyes, or that ruffly plastic stuff, but we just can’t imagine this being walked down any runway. We definitely couldn’t pull this off. Maybe they left the packaging on by accident?
We’re Surprised The Fruits Aren’t Bedazzled
If you thought the price tag was for the bag, you’re wrong. If the price tag were for the bag, we wouldn’t buy it, but it wouldn’t be shocking. Unfortunately, that price tag is just for those interchangeable fruit key chains.
They’re not as unappealing as the other items on this list, but the cost is just too extra. They’re probably just made of plastic as well. The only consolation is that at least there are plenty of options to choose from.
For Making Sure You’re Brighter Than The Snow
Being able to ski and sliding down a mountain of snow without falling on their butts is cool enough but, of course, some skiers want to look their best while surfing the snow. These $925 bejeweled ski goggles are apparently the solution to that.
We’re not sure if this would work properly but with all those jewels, these goggles would probably reflect everything. Not only that, but it would also blind other skiers so they’d get out of your way. You do you, but these aren’t practical.
This Is Just A Glorified Straight Jacket
For this one, we’re kind of imagining that the tagline almost has to make fun of itself. “Go to the hospital in style!” It might be cozy, but the Snuggie did a fine job of bringing a blanket you can wear to the market.
Puffer jackets are usually not the most stylish things on the market, but they are popular. This one, though, looks like two or three jackets were torn apart and then sewn back together with the hopes of it looking unique.
Miracle Jar For The Skin
Until we discover the fountain of youth, we all have to depend on skincare items to keep our skin looking and feeling smooth. Unfortunately, these products are not cheap. Still, we have never met someone who would buy a cream that is over $1,000.
Unless this jar has a few drops of some magic potion, or it can miraculously cure every skin blemish we have, we’re going to have to pass. No reviews can convince us otherwise. We’re fine with our Olay right now, thanks.
The Golden Key To Those Golden Curls
What is it with people turning everything into gold? As long as our hair rollers are getting those curls right and keep them in place, we don’t mind if they’re from the dollar store, Target, or any place like that.
We would be a little more appeased if they sold this by the dozen. Maybe this would be an interesting splurge if you used it on your favorite lock of hair. If you have one. We don’t, but we’re trying to play devil’s advocate here.
Does The Wedding Have A Rain Jacket Theme Or What?
We love it when designers put their necks on the line to design clothes made out of unconventional materials. It shows how creative and resourceful they are. Sometimes though, it might be best if they stick with tried and true materials.
Is this dress meant for rainy weddings? And what in the world are those rope-like ties for? We have the feeling that we are missing something here because surely this dress isn’t made of the same material as Christmas tinsel (even though that’s what it looks like).
For 39,000, Can It Fly??
When it comes to traveling, all we want is a sturdy bag that has enough space and pockets to contain every OOTD we need for our destination plus all our essentials. Sure, fancy bags are lovely too, but we know how beat up our bags get on our adventures.
It’s cute as a toy, but it’s impractical to use as a bag to put things in. Imagine having to sit with those wings hitting your face or your seatmate’s. Or imagine trying to stuff it in the luggage compartment. We get the feeling no one would use this for traveling.
Will Those Hair Ties Make Our Hair Healthier, More Luxurious, And More Enviable?
Ladies all appreciate a good hair tie, one that doesn’t break our hair, makes weird kinks to our hair, doesn’t pull out all the strands of our hair off our scalp when removing them, and one that is of a reasonable price point. This one lost us at the last one.
So that everyone knows, you could find sets of these for a dollar. You can’t even brag about these because there is just nothing special about them. We might be wrong in that since we’re no fashion experts, but good luck changing our minds.
Can It Make That Price Go Up In Smokes
We don’t know what it is about all these fancy lighters, but they are pretty cool to look at. Seeing someone flick open one of these can immediately give them appeal. But asking for $20,000 for one make us roll our eyes.
Yeah, it’s fancy and at least it has a purpose. For anyone who plans to buy this, though, we hope they use it for something so freaking extravagant so extra that it goes viral. We can think of some things we’d like to light on fire.
When You Just Really Want To Be That Extra
Although they don’t need them, a lot of people wear glasses to look cool. And we’re not complaining. If that’s their thing, then right on. We just don’t understand what the purpose is of going the extra mile to create lensless glasses.
It’s not like people would go online saying, “you know what my wardrobe needs, some eye shape accessories.” Only Lady Gaga and Elton John can say that without being judged. As for the rest of us, that is more than a bit strange.
Is That Even Meant For A Human?
We know that oftentimes the fashion world has unrealistic standards for the human body. Take a look at this crazy faux leather jacket, for instance. A He-man action figure would look okay in it, but it probably wouldn’t look great on an actual human.
Another experiment that should have stayed on the runway and out of anyone’s shopping cart. We don’t hate the skirt with the leotard underneath. Could we get that instead? To the thrift store we go! We could half the place out with what this jacket costs.
Wear Your Vegetables
We know a lot of people want to promote eating healthy and eating green. After all, those foods are great for the body and mind. We’re not sure branding our bags with them and overpricing said bags is the way to convince the unconvinced.
The bag would’ve been great if you knocked a couple of digits off the price. Also, put it together with the shrimp bag, and you’ve got yourself a potentially delicious stir fry bag. All you’d need next is some oyster sauce and garlic purses.
Greenhouse To Grow All Your Regrets
We’re not sure what’s worse: the size of this greenhouse or the price that goes with it. In the picture, it looks like a part of a Barbie doll mansion ensemble, and it might just be. Its actual size is only around 17 inches high.
It’s funny that it’s listed under “everyday objects.” You could buy a real house with that kind of money you’ll be paying for this greenhouse. Plus, what are you going to grow in there? The tiny seeds of regret? No thanks.
A Silver Chair Perfect For The Greenhouse
This mini silver chair was probably inspired by Nordie’s chair bag. This one can easily be paired with the greenhouse, since we imagine it is on the same scale. Well, it might be big enough to seat a teacup poodle, at least.
Maybe there’s a table, a couple of cups, and a teapot waiting somewhere else in development or in their catalog. That would make the set. Still, though, we have to ask why. We get buying luxury items for pets, but they should be comfortable. For decor… nah.
Upscale Pet Rock
There are times in life when you really need a rock; trust us. One of those moments is when you meet the people who try to sell you a literal rock for $100. We heard of people who collect colorful stones, but this is an eyebrow-raiser.
It might be hard to believe, but this item does exist for sale. It’s a big ol’ huge rock – and not even the smooth or pretty kind – in a leather pouch. That’s it. Our favorite part of this is that this item sold out.
Any Other Countries Available?
This is a ping pong table meant for people who don’t play ping pong. It actually looks cool, but we’re not sure you could actually play a decent game with that shape. The way we see it, you’re just going to end up with a lot of bruises and misses.
Maybe something shaped like Russia or Australia would give a fairer advantage to both sides. This would be better suited as an art piece to hang up. And very few of us would be able to play without worrying about breaking something so expensive.
The Flying Nun Hat
Hats are great for all sorts of things! For hiding that oily mess of hair that hasn’t seen the shower in a week, or for covering up part of your sleepy face, and they’re also great for sprucing up your outfit. This one looks great for flying you out of awkward situations.
If it were able to fly us out of awkward situations, we might be willing to pay that price. Honestly, though, it just looks like they did Mickey Mouse and Dumbo dirty, and they don’t deserve that. Let’s see it on a model, Nordstrom.
When socks with toes came out, we dealt with those pretty well since although they looked out of the norm, they were practical. But we don’t know how to deal with shoes with toes. At least they seem to be comfortable as opposed to the camel toe shoes.
Apparently, these shoes are as comfy as they look, especially for jogging and running. The only way we’d pay $1,290 for those, though, is if they launched us into the air with every step we take like we were walking on the moon.
Definitely Distressing Alright
Algorithms are weird. One day, your likes and shares lead social media platforms to share ads about things that you actually need. Other days, they will show you something absolutely weird and completely unasked for like this. (Hello, Wish ads.)
We are not going to ask what someone would want a person-sized cage for. Not our business; now our problem. We hope it’s for protecting a really big plant from the cats or something. This is when the algorithm gets it wrong.
It’s Just The Prices That Blinds Our Eyes
We get that silver looks nice. It’s shiny, it’s somewhat a symbol of wealth, and it can add a nice accent to a lot of decor styles but honestly, does Tiffany & Co have to dip every single “everyday” item into silver?
As much as some people like shiny things, these items won’t be “in” forever, and then you’d have to sell them at a loss. It would have also been nice if they were works of art but sadly, they’re just glorified knickknacks.
How Many Spells Can This Wand Cast?
Facebook ads can be quite interesting, to put it mildly. They can read our deepest subconscious and give us suggestions that we might have thought about just once in our lives. We wonder what this person did to get these kinds of suggestion.
Although the price isn’t that bad, it’s the promise in the product description that gets us scratching our heads. Apparently, it’s imbued with “mystical magik properties.” We wonder how many spells it can cast and what kind of sorcery it actually does.
Phone Cord Necklace To Strangle Your Dreams And Aspirations
Jewelry, in general, can be very pricey. That’s because you’re usually not only buying them for the bling and glitz they provide but also their longevity and the quality of the material. For this necklace, we don’t think anything can justify that price unless it has sentimental value.
It looks like it was simply torn off an old phone cord, wiped down, tied at two ends, and was then called a necklace. We assume we’re missing something. It must be made of jade or some other nice gemstone, right? Please say yes.
Macaroni Earrings To Make Any Outfit A Lot Saucier
There is an art to making food-inspired jewelry and while this isn’t immediately hideous, disgusting, or too much to look at, it’s not one that we think is deserving of an $800 price tag since they look like they’re made of plastic.
It’s nice that they’re taking inspiration from common items like that. We have acknowledged that we like and any Etsy seller selling pasta earrings should shut up and take our money. But we’ll pass on this particular overly expensive pair.